<p><i>Grief after suicide is profound and often bewildering. </i></p><p>For many men, it can be uniquely challenging because of social expectations about being “strong,” private, or self-reliant. When grief is pushed inward, pain can feel even heavier. This piece explores why men’s grief may look different, how that’s perfectly valid, and the supports that can help when the road feels long.</p><h3>Why Men’s Grief Can Look Different</h3><p>Men are often discouraged, either explicitly or implicitly, from showing vulnerability. As a result, many cope by withdrawing, keeping busy, or trying to "get on with it." This can lead to a painful mix of isolation and guilt.</p><p>In <i>AfterWords</i>, a survey of people bereaved by suicide in Ireland, 65% of men reported mental health difficulties after the loss. Forty percent used alcohol to cope. Thirty-three percent experienced problems in family relationships. Twenty-eight percent said their physical health deteriorated. These figures highlight the need for timely, tailored support, along with compassion for ourselves and each other.</p><h3>Different Grieving Styles (All Valid)</h3><p>Grief is not one-size-fits-all. Many men lean toward instrumental grieving, which means processing through thinking and doing rather than expressing visible emotion. Others are intuitive grievers, and many move between styles over time.</p><p>Returning to work, playing sport, or tackling projects is not a sign of avoiding grief. These actions can be genuine ways of carrying both love and pain. What matters most is whether your way of grieving helps you feel supported and connected.</p><h3>What Can Help</h3><p>There is no single right strategy. Try a few approaches and notice what supports you best:</p><ul><li><strong>Move your body. </strong>Walks, gym sessions, solo or team sports — physical activity can lift your mood and help regulate your nervous system.</li><li><strong>Peer connection. </strong>Men’s or mixed bereavement groups, including suicide-specific peer support, can normalise feelings and offer practical coping tools.</li><li><strong>Professional support. </strong>A counsellor or psychotherapist with experience in suicide bereavement can help with complex emotions, trauma, and guilt.</li><li><strong>Create and make.</strong> Journaling, music, woodworking, gardening — expressing grief through action can be deeply grounding.</li><li><strong>Mindfulness and breath. </strong>Simple practices can help you ride emotional waves without being overwhelmed.</li></ul><p>However you grieve, your love is real, and so is your loss. You do not have to go through this alone. Reaching out for connection is an act of strength, not a failure of it. If you have been bereaved by suicide and would value peer support or a listening ear, <a href="https://hugg.ie/">HUGG </a>is here to walk alongside you.</p><p><i>AfterWords: A survey of people bereaved by suicide in Ireland. O'Connell S, Tuomey F, O'Brien C, Daly C, Ruane-McAteer E, Khan A, McDonnell L, Arensman E, Andriessen K, Grennan A, Griffin E (2022)</i></p>

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Understanding Men’s Grief After Suicide

<p>The loneliness we experience after the death of someone we love can be deeper and more enduring than other forms of loneliness. How can we give these feelings the space they need?</p><h3>Losing the Familiar</h3><p>To be human is to be lonely, and most of us will experience loneliness at various times in our lives. Research shows that people often feel lonely during life transitions—retirement, moving house, marriage, becoming a parent. These are usually seen as joyful milestones, yet they can bring a sense of disconnection. We may feel alone in losing the familiar and uncertain in facing new challenges. It can feel like entering a strange new country, where we must learn unfamiliar signposts.</p><p>In bereavement, we may experience a range of emotions toward the person who has died—including anger that they are no longer here. These mixed feelings can lead to confusion and guilt, adding to our sense of isolation.</p><h3>Lonely for a Part of Yourself</h3><p>The loneliness that follows the death of a spouse or partner is often layered and complex. The losses are cumulative and can affect every area of life. We may yearn for the life we shared—even the difficult parts. The certainty, the shared interests, the intimacy, the interdependence—all gone. Even in imperfect relationships, the death of a partner can mark the end of unfulfilled hopes. The finality of death means the chance to make things better is gone, which can lead to complicated grief.</p><p>After a partner dies, we are suddenly on our own, often faced with a raft of decisions when we feel least able to make them.</p><blockquote><p>“My husband was the technical one,” said Colette. “The first time my computer broke after he died, I actually called out loud to him to help me. I knew it sounded ridiculous, but I felt so helpless and alone.”</p></blockquote><p>Good partners offer comfort simply by being present. Ben, who was widowed last year, shared:</p><blockquote><p>“We were very close and did a lot together. We enjoyed watching TV in the evenings. I’d be in my chair, she’d be on the couch, and we’d exchange a glance, knowing what the other was thinking. Now, I see something in a film and turn to look at her—but the couch is empty. She’s not there. I know it will take me a long time to stop turning toward her.”</p></blockquote><p>Losing a partner can also mean losing a part of ourselves.</p><blockquote><p>“I’ve realised that nobody will ever see me again as he did,” my mother said, months after my father’s death. “I am lonely for that part of myself.”</p></blockquote><h3>Looking After Ourselves as Best We Can</h3><p>As we move through the loneliness of grief, it’s important to care for ourselves as best we can. This might mean accepting support from trusted friends or family. Patience and self-compassion are essential—allowing ourselves to feel pain and sadness, and giving grief the time it needs.</p><p>There may be moments of joy, distraction, or escape that we can allow ourselves without guilt. Expressing grief in healthy ways—through art, writing, gardening, cooking, or walking in nature—can also help.</p><p>When we’re ready, there are sources of support. Spending time with family members who are also grieving can be healing. Sharing stories, laughing, and crying together can be deeply therapeutic.</p><p>Don’t rule out professional help. Joining a bereavement support group can offer comfort and connection with others who understand. If loneliness persists and is accompanied by intense or prolonged grief, speaking with a therapist or counsellor can provide the space to explore and express your feelings—and, in time, help you begin to live more fully again.</p>

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Loneliness After Loss: Navigating Grief and Finding Connection

<p><i>Grief is a difficult and lonely time. </i></p><p>Having a change in your financial circumstances adds an additional layer of distress. Like grief, everyone’s financial experience is unique. You may find yourself with a reduced income and are struggling to manage your day-to-day living expenses and financial obligations.</p><p>It can be difficult to manage without assistance. <a href="https://www.mabs.ie/">MABS</a> are here to help you deal with your new financial situation. MABS is the Irish Money Advice Service. For over 30 years, we have supported people with money advice, budgeting and debt.</p><ul><li>Our service is free of charge; you can get impartial advice from MABS to help you manage your money.</li><li>We offer support over the telephone, face to face and virtually.</li><li>We have 60 offices located around Ireland. Many regions operate outreach services to cover rural areas.</li></ul><p>In addition, there is the MABS National Helpline, open from 09:00am to 8:00pm Monday to Friday.</p><h3>Taking Steps to Maximise Your Income</h3><h4>Step 1: Check Your Social Welfare Entitlements</h4><p>The Department of Social Protection has different benefits and entitlements during this difficult period.</p><p>You may be entitled to:</p><ul><li>One-Parent Family Payment – a means-tested payment payable if you have a child under 7</li><li>Working Family Payment</li><li>Household Budget Scheme</li><li>Medical Card</li><li>Fuel Allowance</li></ul><p>Everyone’s entitlements are unique and subject to means testing. An Information Officer in your local<a href="https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/"> Citizens Information Service</a> can assist you to check any possible entitlement.</p><p>If you have a child, you may be entitled to the Bereaved Parent Grant. It is a once-off payment and is also means tested.</p><p>You may be entitled to get help with the cost of the funeral or paying your rent if you are struggling. Your local Community Welfare Officer deals with some of these payments.</p><h4>Step 2: Notify the Department of Social Protection</h4><p>If your loved one was receiving social welfare, notify the Department. In some circumstances, social welfare payments will continue to be paid to the spouse, civil partner, carer or cohabitant who died for 6 weeks after their death, depending on qualifying criteria.<br />See <a href="www.gov.ie">www.gov.ie</a></p><p>Contact Revenue and tell them your situation, so they can ensure you are getting the correct tax credits.</p><h4>Step 3: Managing Debts Left Behind</h4><p>You may be concerned about your loved one leaving behind debts that have to be repaid. MABS can assist you with this.</p><p>If you have taken out a mortgage with your loved one who has died, check if the borrowing is covered by mortgage protection insurance/life insurance.</p><ul><li>If it is not covered, continue to repay the mortgage.</li><li>If you have difficulty in making these payments, talk to your mortgage provider.</li><li>You can also contact MABS for support.</li></ul><h4>Step 4: Contact Financial Institutions and Insurers</h4><p>Contact your:</p><ul><li>Bank</li><li>Credit Union</li><li>An Post</li></ul><p>Some banks have dedicated Bereavement Support Teams.</p><p>Check your insurances:</p><ul><li>Contact your insurance company</li><li>Check all insurance policies you have, or that your loved one had</li></ul><p><i>For more, visit </i><a href="https://www.mabs.ie/en/"><i>MABS.ie</i></a></p>

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Navigating Finances after a Loss

<p><i>When you lose someone you love, it can feel like the world has shifted. </i></p><p>You find yourself in a new reality that feels strangely familiar, yet everything is different. The coffee may taste the same, but there is an unmistakable absence accompanied by a quiet ache for what once was.</p><p>Nobody tells you how tired you may feel or how daunting it can be to find your feet again. Navigating life without the person you love can feel isolating. You watch others carry on, laughing, enjoying the autumn sun, making plans for holidays, as if they can’t fully see the deep hole left behind. That hole may follow a prolonged period of care, illness, and the whirlwind of administration that comes with death announcements, wakes, and funerals.</p><p>Life can become quiet. It’s as if we have been forgotten.</p><p>Yet, it is in this quiet space that healing begins. This is the moment to compassionately turn toward the parts of ourselves that were neglected in the maelstrom of loss. By acknowledging our wounds, we uncover the fertile ground needed to rediscover what truly matters, how we want to live, and how we want to inhabit our world with meaning.</p><p>Life inevitably pulls us forward. So how can we find our feet on stable ground?</p><h3>Everyone’s Path Through Grief Is Unique</h3><p>The answer is different for each of us. It might mean surrounding ourselves with memories or, conversely, exploring new places and routines. It could involve creative expression through art or journaling, joining a support group, or spending time in nature. While grief is universal, the journey through it is deeply personal.</p><h3>Support at The Sanctuary, Dublin 7</h3><p><a href="https://www.sanctuary.ie/">The Sanctuary,</a> a meditation centre in Dublin 7, offers a range of supports for those navigating crisis and loss. From drop-in community wellbeing sessions to structured courses, their offerings are designed to ease the stresses of being human.</p><h3>New Programme: <i>When Things Fall Apart</i></h3><p>Dr. Tony Bates and Jane Negrych will lead a new programme titled<a href="https://www.sanctuary.ie/programmes/when-things-fall-apart"> <i>When Things Fall Apart: Finding a Way to Face a Life-Changing Crisis</i></a>. This six-session course (four in-person, two online) explores how we survive and grow through moments of profound difficulty, when life feels turned upside down and the path ahead is unclear.</p><p>Whether the crisis is personal or involves someone we love, it can feel isolating and overwhelming. We may struggle to sustain hope. Yet this terrain of uncertainty is where life has brought us. It is the ground we now stand upon, the only real place where we can experience being alive.</p><p>The challenge is to make sense of what is happening so we can engage with it, rather than resist or deny it. We need a new map to guide us across this treacherous terrain.</p><h3>What the Course Covers</h3><p>Participants will be guided to:</p><ul><li>Identify what is keeping them from facing what feels terrifying</li><li>Discover what may be holding them back or keeping them stuck</li><li>Create conditions for being in the world in a new way</li><li>Deal with isolation and despair caused by prolonged suffering</li><li>Build a personal recovery blueprint with strategies for tough times</li><li>Rebuild lost connections through art, music, nature, and relationships</li><li>Reclaim a positive experience of being alive despite hardship</li><li>Discover how facing challenges is a path to growth</li></ul><p>Interested in learning more or signing up? Visit <a href="https://www.sanctuary.ie/">The Sanctuary Dublin</a> for details on upcoming courses and supports.</p><p> </p>

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Finding Ground After Loss: A Path Through Grief

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Condolence Books - Printed and Bound

RecaptureOne - QR Coded Memory Plaques

Mini Condolence Books - Printed and Bound

RIP.ie Sympathy cards

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Condolence Book for Home Printing

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Topic: Grief