When You Feel Numb Or Disconnected: One Breath At A Time.

When You Feel Numb Or Disconnected

Grief does not always arrive in waves of strong emotions. Sometimes instead of crying or shouting, you may feel very little at all. You might feel like you’re watching life happen at a distance, as though they are going through the motions on autopilot. Some might call it numbness; others might call it emptiness.

This is the nervous system’s way of protecting you. Just as it can launch into fight or flight when it senses danger or stress, it can also shut down into what’s called the ‘freeze’ response. When experiences become too overwhelming to process, the body can slow down, energy drops and emotions can switch off.

Numbness can be your body’s attempt to cope but when it lingers, it can bring confusion or even guilt. You may long to feel something, as though you ‘should’ be feeling more but it seems out of reach.

One Breath At A Time

The way back is not to force feeling, but to gently invite connection back, one small step at a time. Your breath can be a steady companion here. It is always present, always moving. By paying attention to it, you can notice what is already there, helping you bridge the gap between your body and mind.

A Grounding Breath, To Gently Reconnect With Yourself

This is not about changing your breath, you are simply noticing it, tuning into the steady rhythm of inhales and exhales. The shift may be subtle. Each inhale and exhale becomes a thread of connection allowing a little more presence and reassurance that you are still here.

Try This Gentle Breathing Technique

To practice this breathing technique, find a place where you feel as comfortable as possible, whether sitting or lying down. Close your eyes or simply soften your gaze. If it is comfortable for you, rest one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Feel the surface beneath you holding your weight, steady and supportive and allow your body to settle.

1. Begin by bringing your attention to your breath. Don't change anything yet, just focus on how your breath is right now in this moment.

• Is it high in your chest or low in your belly?
• Is it quick or is it slow?
• Is it gentle or is it heavy?
• Notice how cool the air feels as you breathe in through your nose and slightly warmer as you breathe out.

2. Start to gently guide your breath into a smooth rhythm and silently say to yourself: ‘I am breathing in. I am breathing out.’

• Inhale slowly through your nose and low into your belly.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth or nose, whatever feels easy for you.
• Breathing gently with no force or effort.

3. Let your breath move like waves. Steady and continuous.

• Imagine each inhale is like a wave rolling gently into shore.
• Imagine each exhale is that wave flowing calmly back out to sea.

4. Notice now how you have created a natural rhythm to your breathing.

• With every gentle exhale, imagine you are breathing out the tension in your body.
• With every inhale, imagine you are breathing in calm and strength.

5. Breathe like this for a few minutes.

• If your mind drifts, gently return to the words & the movement of your hands as they rise and fall with your breath.

Notice What Changes

Notice how your body is responding. Perhaps you feel your shoulders relaxing and your belly softening? You may or may not feel different right away. That’s okay. This practice isn’t about forcing feelings to return. It’s about creating a thread of connection, however small. Over time, these moments can remind your body that it is safe enough to soften and reconnect.

Your Breath Is Always With You

You can return to this practice anytime. You don’t need special equipment, or a long session. Even a few minutes using this technique can make a difference. Your breath is always with you.

Over time, these moments of calm accumulate, creating more space for you to meet life as it is.

Your breath won’t erase life’s challenges, but it can remind you that with every inhale and every exhale, you carry a simple, effective tool to help bring your mind and body back from overwhelm to greater ease.

A Gentle Reminder

Think of these practices as gentle tools you can reach for to support your wellbeing. They don’t replace medical or therapeutic care. Please only do what feels supportive for you, and if anything doesn’t feel right, simply return to your natural breath.

If you or a loved one is struggling with ongoing or overwhelming distress, I encourage you to reach out to a healthcare or mental health professional for extra support.