When Everything Feels Overwhelming. One Breath at a Time.

When Everything Feels Overwhelming

When you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, there can be times when it all feels like too much. You might feel restless, agitated, or unable to relaxeven when you’re exhausted. It can seem as though your whole body is tensed, bracing for something.

When stress, loss, or sudden change occurs, the body reacts automatically. The nervous system instinctively shifts into the sympathetic state, often called the "fight or flight response". This is a primitive survival mechanism designed to protect you and help you respond quickly to danger.

In this state, you might notice your heart racing, your breathing becoming fast and shallow, your muscles tightening, and your focus narrowing. In short bursts this response is useful, but when we spend too long in fight or flight, it stops being protective and can leave us feeling tense, anxious, and overwhelmed, making the grief even harder to carry.

One Breath at a Time

Breathwork can be a very effective and simple way to regulate your nervous system and shift back into the calmer, parasympathetic state.

What is Breathwork? It is the practice of consciously guiding your breathing in different ways to influence how you feel in your body and mind. Breathing is unique because although it happens automatically, it can be intentionally regulated. When you change how you breathe, you can change how you feel.

By practicing different breathwork techniques, you can activate pathways in the nervous system that promote relaxation, improve focus, and support emotional regulation.

A Calming Breath for Moments of Overwhelm

When we breathe in, our heart rate speeds up. When we breathe out, it slows down. Slow, rhythmic breathing whereby you extend your exhale, activates the vagus nerve, signalling to your brain that it is safe to leave the fight or flight state.

Even a few intentional breaths can begin to shift your body into a calmer state. Breathwork won’t erase your feelings, but this technique can help press pause on your internal alarm giving you a pocket of calm. Over time, these pauses add up, giving your system more opportunities to recover.

Try This Simple Breathing Technique

To practice this breathing technique, find a position that feels safe and supportive. You might sit upright in a chair with your feet on the floor or lie down somewhere comfortable. If it feels right, place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Close your eyes gently or simply soften your gaze.

1. Begin with a slow, gentle inhale through your nose, counting to four in your head.

• You don’t need to take a big breath, it should be light, gentle, and low into your belly.
• Notice how your belly gently rises and falls under your hand.

2. Without pausing, exhale slowly through your mouth for six counts, as though you’re gently blowing out a candle.

• With each exhale, visualise the stress or tension leaving your body.
• Go at your own pace and never force your breath.

3. Repeat this rhythm several times:

• Inhale for 4 counts.
• Exhale for 6 counts.
• If your mind wanders, return to the steady count in your head.

Notice What Changes

As you breathe , you might notice small shifts in your body. You may not feel transformed, but you might notice a softening, a release. Perhaps your shoulders lower slightly? Or your jaw feels less tight? Maybe your heartbeat slows and steadies. Perhaps you simply feel the comfort of focusing on the steady rhythm.

There is no right or wrong outcome.

Your Breath Is Always With You

You can return to this practice anytime. You don’t need a quiet room, special equipment, or a long session. Even one or two minutes using this technique can make a difference. Your breath is always with you.

Over time, these moments of calm accumulate, creating more space for you to meet life as it is.

Your breath won’t erase life’s challenges, but it can remind you that with every inhale and every exhale, you carry with you a tool that is simple, effective, and always available to help bring your mind and body back from overwhelm to greater ease.

A Gentle Reminder

Think of these practices as gentle tools you can reach for to support your wellbeing.. They don’t replace medical or therapeutic care. Please only do what feels supportive for you, and if anything doesn’t feel right, simply return to your natural breath.

If you or a loved one is struggling with ongoing or overwhelming distress, I encourage you to reach out to a healthcare or mental health professional for extra support.