Who Do I Need to Tell When Someone Dies?

When someone dies, a surreal fog often settles in. Yet suddenly, there are dozens of people to notify, decisions to make, and details to manage. It can feel like time stops and speeds up all at once.

This guide outlines who needs to be informed—both before and after the funeral—and how to manage it without burning out.

1. Start with the Closest Circle

Begin by calling or speaking in person with immediate family and close friends. From there, delegate where possible. Ask a sibling to tell cousins, a friend to update mutual groups, or a neighbour to spread the word locally. Keep it simple.

2. Check for Any Funeral Wishes

Before finalising arrangements, check if the person left specific instructions. These might be with a solicitor, a funeral home, or tucked away in a bedside drawer, envelope, or will. You may also find messages on their phone, notes in a notebook, or informal letters to family. These can be incredibly helpful and reassuring when making early decisions.

3. Contact the Funeral Director

Once the death is confirmed by a GP or hospital, the funeral director becomes your next point of contact. They’ll handle immediate arrangements—transport, care, timing, legal paperwork—and can also arrange for the RIP.ie death notice to go live, if relevant. A good funeral director will gently guide you through the process and help ease the burden.

4. Inform the Wider Community

This includes extended family, friends, neighbours, and anyone who may want to pay their respects. Think about the people your loved one spoke to regularly: walking groups, book clubs, golf buddies, choir friends, sports teams. A short message in a WhatsApp group often works well. If the person was well-known locally, a public notice or Facebook post might be more appropriate.

5. Contact Employers and Schools

If the person was working, notify their employer or HR department to begin any necessary processes and ensure any company-wide notice is respectful and accurate. If children are involved, let their school or childcare provider know so they can offer support. If you’re grieving, it’s also okay to keep your own workplace informed—even if you don’t have the words yet.

6. Notify the Parish or Celebrant

If the funeral will include a religious or spiritual element, contact the relevant priest, celebrant, or officiant early. Their availability may influence the date and format of the ceremony. Your funeral director can assist with this. If the officiant didn’t know your loved one well, they may ask for a few words or anecdotes—take your time gathering them.

7. After the Funeral: Banks, Benefits and Beyond

Once the funeral is over, a second wave of notifications begins. It’s okay to do this gradually. Keep a notebook or checklist so nothing slips through the cracks. Typical contacts include:

• Banks and credit unions
• Revenue and Department of Social Protection
• Utility companies (electricity, gas, broadband, etc.)
• Insurance providers (home, car, health, life, travel)
• Loan and mortgage companies
• Subscriptions and memberships
• Pharmacy and GP
• Landlords or tenants (if relevant)
• Credit card companies
• Pension or private retirement schemes

Some may request a death certificate or will, but many accept an email to start the process.

8. Digital Presence

It’s increasingly common to memorialise or delete social media accounts. Some families keep a Facebook page active for memories, while others prefer to close it quickly. Check their phone and inbox for any online services or platforms they used—Amazon, Spotify, cloud storage, and more.

9. Keep a Record

Create a simple spreadsheet or jot things down in a notebook. Note who you’ve told, who’s yet to hear, and what actions still need follow-up. It helps you stay organised and avoids the awkwardness of someone finding out later than you'd have liked.

10. Don’t Try to Do It All at Once

This isn’t a race. Take it step by step, ask for help, and remember there’s no ‘perfect’ way to do this. Some notifications will fall through the cracks—and that’s okay. You’re doing your best.

You won’t remember everyone straight away, and that’s okay too. Start with the essentials and work through it bit by bit. People understand. The most important thing is to look after yourself and your loved ones.