What to Wear to a Funeral (and What Not To)

When someone dies, even the smallest decisions can feel overwhelming. Figuring out what to wear to the funeral is one of them. While tradition still holds in many places—especially in Ireland—funeral attire has evolved. It’s no longer just about black suits and veils. It’s about respect, thoughtfulness, and a quiet nod to the person you’re honouring.

Here’s what to consider when choosing what to wear to a funeral.

Think Understated and Respectful

Black is always a safe choice, but it’s not compulsory. Charcoal, navy, dark green, burgundy, or neutral tones are equally appropriate. Avoid bright patterns or bold fashion statements unless the family has asked for something specific.

Consider Your Relationship to the Family

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. If you're part of the immediate family or a close friend, you may choose to reflect the personality of the person who has passed—wearing colour, sparkle, or something they loved.

But if you’re an acquaintance or work colleague, it’s best to err on the side of tradition unless the family has made a specific request.

Be Led by the Family

Many families aim to honour their loved one’s memory in a meaningful way. Some may ask guests to wear colour, something joyful, or even team colours. If that’s the tone they’re setting, go with it. If not, aim for understated and thoughtful.

Dress for the Setting

Church, crematorium, hotel, garden, or graveside—each comes with its own considerations. For outdoor services, think warm layers, waterproofs, and shoes that won’t sink in wet grass. If the service is religious or formal, lean into that when choosing your outfit.

You Don’t Have to Be Fashionable—But You Can Still Feel Like Yourself

A simple dress, tailored trousers, a smart coat or blazer. Clean, polished, and understated is the way to go. Avoid anything overly casual, loud, revealing, or distressed. Looking put together is a quiet show of care.

What About Children?

If you’re bringing little ones, dress them in smart, comfortable clothes. Nothing too formal or black is needed. Muted colours and simple outfits work well.

That said, it’s worth considering whether young children need to be there at all. Unless they’re part of the immediate family, or you’ve no alternative, it’s often more respectful—and less stressful for you—to leave them at home.

Zoë’s Note

There’s no dress code set in stone. Just focus on being respectful, present, and guided by the tone the family has set. If you're there, you're doing the right thing—and that's what really matters.