My Path to Becoming a Death Doula

From Bright Eyes to Gentle Goodbyes

My journey to becoming a Death Doula began long before I knew such a role existed. As a child, I was deeply moved by the film Watership Down and its haunting theme song, “Bright Eyes.” The story’s honest portrayal of death and dying, tender yet unflinching, sparked something inside me. It invited me to see mortality not as something to fear, but as a natural part of life’s cycle. Even then, I sensed that death wasn’t an ending to be hidden away. It was part of a much bigger story.

This curiosity grew as I watched my family navigate the deaths of my grandparents and other loved ones. I witnessed grief up close. The quiet strength, the rituals, the unspoken emotions. I saw how differently each person coped. Each experience shaped my understanding of death in its own way. There was love in the tears, connection in the silence, and somehow, even amidst the sadness, a strange kind of peace. These moments taught me that death does not happen to an individual alone. It ripples outward, touching families, communities, and traditions.

The Catholic faith I was raised in also influenced my view of death. The rituals of prayers, vigils, and funerals offered comfort and a sense of continuity between the living and the dead. But as I grew older, I began to question my faith and seek a more personal understanding of what it means to die. And to live fully while we can. These questions would later guide my work.

Volunteering at Hospice: A Turning Point

As an adult, my path became clearer when I began volunteering at my local hospice. There, I met extraordinary people living with life-limiting illnesses. Sitting with them, hearing their stories, sharing laughter and tears, and witnessing their courage as they approached the end of life changed me profoundly. It was a huge honour. These encounters were humbling and deeply life-affirming. I began to understand the power of presence. Simply being with someone as they face death can be one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

Training as a Death Doula

Wanting to deepen my understanding, I enrolled in a Sacred Circle Death Doula course. This transformative experience required me to confront my own beliefs about death and dying. I wrote my own eulogy and participated in a living wake. These practices were both unsettling and liberating. They helped me see death not as a distant event, but as an integral part of my own life story. These experiences stripped away layers of fear and illusion. They reminded me that thinking about death isn’t morbid. It is a way of learning how to live with more truth, gratitude, and openness.

Holding Space for Grief and End-of-Life Conversations

Today, I find myself speaking with people -family, friends, clients, and even strangers. We talk about their experiences of illness, grief, and death. These conversations are not dark or depressing. They are profoundly human and freeing. People long to share their fears, their memories, and their hopes about what might lie beyond it all. My role as a Death Doula is to hold space for these stories. I walk alongside others as they navigate the most intimate threshold of existence. These moments remind me why I do this work.

A Life’s Purpose Rooted in Compassion

Being a Death Doula feels less like a career and more like my life’s purpose. It honours the full cycle of life. From those first childhood glimpses of death through the lens of a story and a song, to the real and raw experiences of walking beside others at life’s end, my journey has been about one simple truth. Death is not separate from life. It is part of it. And when we face it with compassion, we open ourselves to a deeper kind of love.