Bereaved by Suicide: The Initial Impact of Suicide Loss

When you first learn that someone close to you has died by suicide, you may experience a wide range of emotions. 

You might feel completely lost, in shock, and unsure of what you are thinking or doing.

Death by suicide is an overwhelming loss that can leave families, friends, and communities grappling with intense emotions and many unanswered questions.

Grieving Is Unique to Everyone

While the pattern of grief is unique to every person, many of those bereaved by suicide will experience similar feelings. Everyone will respond differently when someone dies by suicide, and how we grieve and for how long will vary from person to person. You may experience very different emotions from another person who was also affected, and you may feel certain emotions more strongly than others. You will communicate how you are feeling in your own individual way. For example, you may not want to talk at all about the loss for a time, or constant talking may be your way of coping. However you react, it is your way of trying to make sense of what has happened, express your feelings, get information and deal with your inner turmoil and pain.

Adjusting Over Time

Over time, the intensity of the pain and loss usually eases, and you can begin to adjust to life without the person who has died. There is no set timeline for grieving, and everyone will navigate it in their own way. Talking through your feelings with a trusted friend or relative may be all the support you need. For some, meeting people who have had a similar experience creates solidarity in the loss and helps by providing relief, comfort and healing. Some may need extra support, for example, from their GP or a professional counsellor.

Choosing the Right Support

If you choose to seek support – whether professional or community-based – it is important that you feel in control and able to access the type of support that feels right for you, especially when you need it most.

This article is adapted from You Are Not Alone, the national suicide bereavement support guide.

For more information from the HSE on bereavement, loss and suicide bereavement, visit www.hse.ie/grief